Sport

The San Sombrèran Government’s encouragement of physical activity began in 1954 when they moved to phase out cigar smoking during school hours. Since then a range of state-sponsored health and fitness programmes have ensured San Sombrèro’s success on the world sporting stage. Strong, talented students are often singled out for special training and most cities boast a Centro Deportivo (Sports Centre) with tennis courts, gymnasium, pool and pharmaceutical laboratories.

Leading figures in sport include boxer Luis Gonzales, baseballer Javier Estez and Olympic star Ricarda Suarez who, in 1995, broke the world high jump record, only to be disqualified after it was revealed he was being shot at by border guards when he made his epic leap. San Sombrèro has also produced some excellent long-distance swimmers, most of whom have made it to Miami and are refusing to return home.

Beisbol

Another of San Sombrèro’s most-popular sports. On any given day one can see kids playing baseball in the street, dreaming of making it to the ‘big league’. And some have indeed done so, none more famous than Cucarachan born Quinto Emirez who, in 1971 led his team to a National Championship. A year later he led them to Florida, in an unsuccessful attempt to defect enmasse. After many more years at the top, Emirez retired from baseball in 1976 to embark on a short-lived TV career, his tonight show Here’s Quinto being axed early in its run. Emirez then worked for a short period as a sporting journalist before returning to his first loves – cocaine and prostitutes.