Where To Eat
Shared tables are a common feature of Dzrebo dining and it’s not unusual for couples enjoying a romantic meal out to find themselves joined by a large party of boisterous and often drunk locals. This is considered quite an honour and to complain could cause offence, if not severe personal injury. One other point worth remembering – vegetarian meals are hard to find in Dzrebo and dishes described as ‘meat free’ may legally contain up to 23% pork.
Dining Luxury
The most popular restaurant in Dzrebo is Hzorvja’s, which specializes in wild game. During the hunting season diners can expect to be served anything from roast boar to oven-baked duck.

Note: Out of season you may have to settle for fresh road-kill.
 37 Av Busjbusj
66 1972
Another highly recommended eatery is Pjokotaz, a centrally-located restaurant popular with business-men and government officials. In addition to hearty stews you’ll often be served a side dish of hearty tsalusky noodles, which are similar to Italian ‘gnocchi’ or German ‘spaetzle’ except for the fact they’re hallucinogenic.
  67 Av Maj 1
63 0170
Dining Luxury
Located just off the highway, Vjoy Zjoy is a trendy bistro offering light vegetarian meals in a relaxed smoke-free environment. It opened in June 2001, but closed within weeks due to lack of customers and has now re-opened as a hamburger shop.
 86 Sv J.F.Kennedy
61 6079
It seems Chinese cuisine has infiltrated every city in the world and Dzrebo is no exception, with the Golden Dragon providing an interesting mix of ‘Molvanian-meets-Asian’ dishes (even its management structure follows these lines – ‘triad-meets-mafia’). Favourites include fried rice with gherkin, sour and sour pork, and the restaurant’s signature dish, Peking sparrow.

Note: All meals are served with rice and MSG.
  102 Sv Ezkrel
67 0898
We Were Wrong! Apologies are owed to the owners of the Zzardmac Bistroj opposite the old Town Hall. In our last edition this establishment was described as a ‘spotless, family-friendly cafe’. This was a typographical error and should have read ‘topless family-friendly cafe’. We regret any loss of trade this may have caused to Mr and Mrs Zzardmac and their seven daughters.
This extract taken from MOLVANIA – a land untouched by modern dentistry